Monday, 28 December 2015

Time to swap my superwoman knickers for granny bloomers? I don't think so!

As I am now on the wrong side of 40 it often occurs to me that as I hurtle towards 50, I still feel like a teenager. I don't consider myself  'old' and have often prided myself on the fact that I am 'in with the kids' as my 22 year old son likes to tell me. So, you can imagine my horror at experiencing ageism not once this week but twice. The first time ever! To say I was a tad annoyed is an understatement. More so because the ageist comments came from my 21 year old step daughter! And, I thought she considered me pretty cool! (*face palm)

I suppose when my step daughter looks at me and her father she sees old farts and she made this point quite clear. But then, sometimes when I look at her I want to shove her boobs back in her top and wish her skirt covered her knickers but there you go! A little bit of ageism all of  my own there! The world would be a boring place if we all conformed. And, if that's what makes her comfortable in the world I have as little right to correct her as she has to correct me. But, if you can't take it then don't give it! Suck it up buttercup! Your evil step Ma is surfacing! I will admit to initially being very upset by the comments when they were made but as my friends have pointed out, they are the comments of a mere child! How true! But, as a fledgling writer it piqued my interest and made for interesting blog fodder whilst giving me the opportunity for a good old rant! What's not to love!

Did all you other old farts out there realise though that once we hit 40 we shouldn't be out dancing and making fools of ourselves? No? Neither did I! And, if we want to do such things we should just stay at home and enjoy ourselves there as we make bigger fools of ourselves trying to pretend we are younger than we are! I wasn't aware we were. I mean dear god who wants to be that young and stupid again? Not me! Who wants to just have a laugh, be proud of all we've overcome and remember how good it is to be alive? That would be me!

Ok now sit down before you fall down you old dears! The news was a shock to me too. Who knew that life ended at 40! And, it gets worse! 
( Oh no I hear you cry into your lace hankies. Hold on to your zimmer frames people!) Apparently there's a rule in some overly pretentious nightclubs, including the one she works in, that if your face doesn't fit then you don't get in! Not only is there a lower age limit but there's an upper one too! Time to hit the botox clinics and get out your giant knickers! But then, according to my step daughter why on earth would someone as old as me want to go to a nightclub!? I don't necessarily want to go to somewhere that is filled with idiots who think its cool to spend mummy and daddy's hard earned money on extortionately over priced alcohol or with men who wear more fake tan than me. But, and this is the crux.....................IF I WANT TO DANCE I WILL DANCE WHERE I DAMN WELL PLEASE! I don't frequent places because of the age group of the other patrons. I go where there is fun, great music and great company. The club where she works doesn't sound like the sort of place I'd ever want to go to anyway. I do have some standards but I am tempted to arrive en masse with a group of oldies!

Now, as someone who is almost a coffin dodger apparently, I can take the ridiculously immature, ill thought out and downright rude comments about age and the restrictions that morons have pulled from their empty heads and file them in my mental filing cabinet under G for Garbage! That is of course if I can find my mental filing cabinet in my old and crusty brain! It appears that with youth lacks a distinct balance of respect and the ability to form any sensible opinion about what it means to live life to the full and without limits.

Thankfully I am not decrepit enough to make a mass generalization about all the young uns. Most are pretty cool! But with others, some thoughts are best kept inside their heads with all the other fuzzy stuff that's stored there. Yes of course we've all commented on those people who do make complete eejits out of themselves on a night out but do we really have the right to give an opinion on someone who is clearly having a good time if all they are doing is having a laugh. They aren't endangering themselves or others but are simply enjoying a night out. I will valiantly defend my right to party!! Ok so I might need to pee more often but good grief I will have fun, Tena lady or no Tena lady!

I am lucky enough to have a very close group of 5 friends who have been there for me through thick and thin for over 25 years. We all went to school together and our friendship just grows stronger with every passing year. They are the sisters I would have chosen for myself. Whilst our hair has turned a little grey and our faces a little more wrinkled, we have never lost our sense of fun. Ever! Each of us has in turn had some traumatic life event or ongoing issue in our personal lives and the only way to deal with difficult times is to laugh your way through it with good friends. Imagine our shock to be told that we should only do that laughing and have that fun confined to our living rooms and in our slippers! I'm not sure we could or should deprive the sad old world we live in  of our girly giggles, mad dancing jiggles and snorting wine out our noses just because we are over 40!

So, in the spirit in which the comments were given, and ridiculous rules made, I have written this post. Yes its a bit ranty but being ancient has afforded me that right! If those young whipper snappers are entitled to an opinion then so am I. I do wonder if those who think that us oldies shouldn't have a life are the same young people who are constantly looking to us for money when they seem to so often need it, help with bills or fees or sagely advice when they have screwed up.  

Personally, I happen to think that my life is a little bit more exciting than counting grey hairs, cleaning the oven and clipping my toenails. After many hardships and a fear of following my dreams I find myself in the fortunate position of thoroughly loving life and taking on more challenges that I would ever have done in my 20's. Its time to chase those dreams now and have a wild ride along the way!  If my clapped out body hasn't died by the time my lovely step daughter is 45 years old I shall remind her of this conversation and laugh my denim clad ass off as I jiggle my way out of the house on a mad girlie night out! Oh and just in case you were wondering, the other ageist remark was that I am too old to go get my nose pierced. Now, that just sounds like a challenge to me! (insert evil laugh here).


  1. Great post JB - thank you for making me laugh.I'd say you've offered a thought provoking blog piece not a rant. When I think of my mother at my age there's no resemblance - we're all staying younger as we grow older and it's great! I hate the thought that just because I've reached a certain age there are things I shouldn't be doing. We're on a one way journey and we should enjoy the ride! xx

  2. Thanks Jo! Yes it is so annoying that a number should dictate whether we go out and enjoy ourselves. Here's to enjoying the ride! x

  3. Fab post. Made me laugh. I would so love to see you all rock up at that nightclub wearing dressing gowns and slippers :)

  4. Fab post. Made me laugh. I would so love to see you all rock up at that nightclub wearing dressing gowns and slippers :)

  5. Thank you Ellie. I'll send pics if I do! lol. x

  6. Just seen your post and loved it. God know what your step daughter would make of us 60/70 plus folks here on the Algarve. We boogie the night away on a regular basis. We may have to take anti-inflammatories for the arthritis and rub ourselves in with gel, after the event but we will go down fighting. I'm 64 this month and still enjoy wearing my skinny jeans and I'm thinking of having my tattoo touched up. She's a long way to go before she reaches perfection. I think the last laugh will be on you, just sit back and watch her grey grow.

    1. Eleanor you have such a wonderful outlook on life! After meeting you in person I just know you aren't even exaggerating any of the things you discuss in your comment! Party on!!! lol