Stress? What stress? Finding my mojo again!

It suddenly occurred to me today that I haven't written a single post here since July. My wonderful intentions to be a prolific writer while I was off work during the Summer months all went completely to pot whenever I found myself snowed under with other book work and falling asleep at my desk due to some difficult parenting issues and a child who has been unwell. Coping on little or no sleep for days on end really put an end to any creativity I had. My brain had left the building. Things still haven't improved too much on the sleep front and for a while I had to scale back on the book work and my writing. I even stopped writing in my journal! But, thankfully things are on the up again. 

It's amazing how your body learns to cope with weeks and months of exhaustion. I have now reached the point where I can function ok on 2 hours sleep now. So, I have started writing again and taking on more book work. I feel great and realise that in actual fact stopping writing and scaling back on work were the stupidest things I did through it all. Now that I am writing again I feel rejuvenated and happy!  If I had only forced myself to sit down in front of my laptop during those days when I thought my eyeballs were going to fall out, maybe things might have been different. I'm really enjoying taking on more book work again and feel buzzed about it all. What had I been thinking, stopping the 2 things in my life that brought me the most happiness!?

The one constant through it all has been my wonderful writing group. We started off as part of a group facilitated by our local library. However, over the Summer and, despite being promised a new facilitator come September we did find ourselves running the group and keeping it going. To be honest, I quite enjoy it but really do have to rein myself in sometimes as I know it often appears I am Ms Bossy Boots and trying to be the facilitator. We all contribute to the group in our own ways. Me.........I'm an organiser. I have organised for some lovely local writers to come to the group to talk to us. I research stuff and bring print outs and writing prompts that are probably boring the rest of the group to tears. But, they are very gracious and thank me politely. What they probably want to do is beat me round the head with the endless bundles of paper I throw at them. Thankfully they haven't yet! They are a super group of people.

Being part of a writing group has given me a new found confidence. Each time we meet we try to share something with the group that we have written. That means finding my story telling voice and letting the group listen to what I have written. It has got to be one of the most nerve wracking things I have ever done. Up to this point I have never shared my work with anyone. But, all my fellow writers in the group are as equally terrified as I am about sharing work. It is such a supportive group of people and I have made some lovely friends. The depth of talent within the group is amazing and I am often in awe of the skills they all possess.  I only hope to be as good as they are one day.

One thing that I never got to be a part of this year has been NaNoWriMo and I am gutted as I have another idea for a book. Actually, I have two ideas! But, I am trying to be realistic. I am still working through editing the book I completed last year and it would be madness to take on another project with this one only half finished. My big wonderful Summer plans had been to finish the book so that I could take part in NaNoWriMo but of course that didn't happen. So, I am being gentle with myself. I'm managing to get to the library most Saturday mornings to work on the book. And while its not happening at break neck speed, it is happening. I still adore my book. It still makes me cry when I read it. I'm not ready to give up on it just yet! Plus, I have lots of author workshops to attend over the next few months and I am really looking forward to those. I am hoping they will provide me with more knowledge and skill around the writing process. My big goal for 2017 is to sign up to The New Writers Scheme with the Romantic Novelist Association so fingers crossed I manage to get onto the scheme. Then, I have no excuses not to finish the book as I will be on a deadline then!

With regards to the book work and blog tours......well I am now officially a part-timer in the day job! Work offered me a part time post a few minutes from my house and I almost bit their arm off! I've now got more time for my beloved book tours which I just love! All in all, life is good.  So, the lesson learned throughout a stressful Summer is...............don't stop doing what you love because you are stressed as it only makes you more stressed!

I'd be really interested to hear how other writers work through times of stress or when life gets in the way.

Author and Blogger Craic In Dublin!

Everyone knows how much I love to go to book events! So, it was very exciting when Carmel Harrington, myself and fellow book blogger Linda Green decided to organise our own author / blogger event. I had attended a few events in London organised by the lovely Kim Nash from Bookouture. I loved them. However, there don't seem to be too many events in Ireland ( and even less up north in Northern Ireland - something I will have to remedy some day!) Anyway, with some planning, the 3 of us managed to organise a really fun event in Dublin on 9th July. The venue was 37 in Dawson Street which was amazing! Thank you so much to them for allowing us to use such a fantastic space! I hope you enjoy some of the pics in this post. Most have been taken by me and some I have stolen borrowed from the events page and were taken by other attendees.

With the lovely Linda Green!

I traveled down to Dublin that morning. A 2 hour journey that coincided with dropping my son to Dublin airport for a flight to America. Feeling totally distraught and being hit with empty nest syndrome! Yeah I know he's only going for 2 weeks but indulge me! Anyway, back to the event! Arriving at 37 I first met the wonderful Linda Green and her very exhausted hubby who had been working night shift but had accompanied her to Dublin bless him. We'd only chatted online before and had never met. What a truly gorgeous person she is. Armed with buns I loved her even more. I was very nervous because I had not met anyone attending! Still, an opportunity to meet new people is always a good thing!

SOME OF THE BUNS WITH BOOKS!

Linda and I had been a little concerned about falling numbers for the event but as you can see from the photographs we had an absolute ball and a respectable amount of attendees. We even had a 'walk in' from the street, claiming to be an author. Still, it added a bit of craic to the occasion. 

Lots of book chat!

Gorgeous bloggers and me!

And so the partying continued outside later!

We all had a super day chatting about books and the publishing world and putting the literary world to rights. I had a total girl fan / book groupie moment when Liz Nugent walked in. I am currently reading her latest book Lying in Wait and loving it. I just so happened to have it in my bag with me and she kindly signed it for me! I have no shame! 

So many interesting conversations!

Most of the authors / bloggers I have met have all been at events in England. Ireland needs more events! These ladies knew how to have a good time and what a lovely bunch of people! Felt like I'd known them forever! It was wonderful to be with like-minded people with an absolute love of books.  Unfortunately the lovely Carmel Harrington was unable to make it to the event in the end but I look forward to seeing her soon.

During the event we had a BLIND DATE WITH A BOOK! Everyone had to bring a book they had enjoyed and wrap it in brown paper. There had to be written a brief description of genre etc but no title. That was a lot of fun and everyone got a new book to add to their ever increasing TBR piles! Lots of business cards and laughs were exchanged and I even managed to sneak in a glass of prosecco. Thank you so much to everyone who attended. You made it the brilliant day it was. I cannot wait to organise another event soon! 

BLIND DATE WITH A BOOK

A Leap of Faith

In an attempt to learn as much about the craft of writing as I can and connect with other writers, both published and those aspiring to be published, I try to attend as many writing and literary events as I can do. Sometimes finances and time are obstacles that often get in my way although usually its confidence that is the deciding factor. However, when I received information about the Dublin Writers Conference, run by Books Go Social I decided to try and be brave.

The conference runs over 3 days. Unfortunately I was only able to attend day 2. So, off I went on another little one woman adventure. Boarding the 6.45am train on a cold and damp Saturday morning.  I did think that I was probably totally insane. Input from my loving husband confirmed I was but he thought I should definitely go. The train from Belfast to Dublin is just over 2 hours long and I totally adored the fact that I had 2 hours to sit on my backside and read. I loved it! It was also a great opportunity to people watch and I was inspired once or twice with ideas for short stories. Every situation it seems presents the opportunity to use my imagination.

Upon arriving in Dublin I managed to make my own way to the Gresham Hotel where the conference was being run. Finances meant that I wouldn't be spending the night in Dublin so I was determined to get as much out of the day as I could. So, taking a big deep breath I walked into the conference room by myself and found a seat at an empty table. There's nothing as big a test of bravery when you are overwrought with anxiety as walking in to an event alone, not knowing anyone. It wasn't long however before I was joined by a lovely gentleman, Brian. He asked me if I was a published writer. Well, part of my anxiety around this whole writing journey is actually telling people I write. Its around telling people I have written a book, albeit the first draft only. So, I told him I was an aspiring author working my way through the first draft of my book. It felt liberating. After that, I didn't worry about telling everyone I spoke to!

Pretty soon the conference room began to fill up and as the chairs around the table filled, other writers introduced themselves. I'll say this about the literary world...............its a damn friendly place. Of course I already knew that from the blogging world but it was so refreshing to be reminded that authors are a lovely, caring and supportive group of people. I met people from all walks of life at the conference. Such a varied and interesting group of people.

As the conference progressed, I learned so much from marketing, to self publishing to getting the book cover right. Plus, it was great to finally meet Jessica Bell. I follow Jessica on Facebook and she is a very talented lady. Over lunch I chatted to new friends about our writing and some of the difficutlies we had. At first, I was a bit worried about telling people I was a mere blogger. I always worry that authors will think that just because I read a lot of books I consider myself an authority on writing. I don't. I have the utmost respect for anyone that can get a book out into the world and not pass not with fear. I don't consider myself an expert at anything except perhaps almost throwing up with fear! I was also dubious about talking about the book tours I organise as I really didn't want it to be seen as using the opportunity to tout for business. Thankfully it wasn't perceived as that and lots of people asked for my business card. They all seemed genuinely interested.

Alas, the conference day was over all too soon. The day absolutely flew by and I have lots and lots of notes and learning to put into practice. At the end of the conference I had dinner with a couple of lovely authors with such interesting lives. The conversation flowed easily and naturally and I adored hearing about their lives. However, before long it was time to board the train for home. Another two hours of reading and writing lay ahead on my homeward journey but this time I sat on the train full of hope and inspiration about where my writing journey would take me next. It seems I am on more than a physical journey. Next year I am definitely attending all 3 days of the conference. Its a valuable learning experience and a great place to network. There were so many interesting speakers and lots of interaction between the speakers and the audience. I felt at ease and excited to be there and really took on board the advice that was being given. I loved it!

For me, the experience as a whole was very positive, strengthening my resolve to be a bit braver with my writing. Sometimes its easier to put your story down on paper than it is to share it and yourself with the world. However, the bravery is in the leap of faith you take in yourself and a trust in those around you to handle your feelings and your writing with care and respect. So far on my journey I have been lucky enough to be surrounded by good friends and a wonderful husband who encourages and supports me and pushes me to try new experiences. Next weekend I'm off to Dublin again for an author / blogger meet up and a chance to meet the lovely Carmel Harrington again. Its not easy to be brave but it is worth it.

*Find out more about Books Go Social - www.booksgosocial.com

Writer Wobbly!

Lots of excitement this week as my second article in the Loveahappyending.com magazine went live! Hooray! When I read the article I did actually feel a little bit in awe that it was me that had written it and it actually wasn't half bad! To see anything I have written out in the big bad worldwide web is a bit of a buzz! You can check out my article HERE. I'd love to hear your thoughts on it. Although, already I am seeing ways I could have improved it! Is anyone ever really happy with what they have written or are you always subconsciously editing and rewriting stuff long after you have written it?

This week also saw me attending my second creative writing class and this time I did feel a little more confident. And, just when my confidence was growing, I realised that this was the last class before the Summer break! Damn it! However, all was not lost. One lady on the course is arranging a series of literary evenings in her house and asked me if I was interested in attending. Of course I am! And, a couple of lovely ladies in the class invited me to join them on a regular meet up over the Summer to talk about and critique our work. We are going to meet up in a swanky coffee shop, drink tea, eat buns and generally talk about our writing. We might even set each other writing challenges too and I was thinking about how to expand on this idea so if any of you wonderful literary friends have some good ideas for writing prompts or writing exercises then I'd love to hear them!

Having friends with a common interest really does help you to feel part of a bigger community. I do have lots and lots of wonderful author and blogger friends online and I get to meet up with some of them now and again. However, to suddenly become part of a writing community close to home feels really fantastic. Of course, the idea of sharing my writing with real people makes me want to pass out in a dead faint! What if they really hate what I have written. One of them is a journalist and really knows her stuff. What if she thinks I am a fraud!? Oh my god! What if I am a fraud!? What if I deluding myself that I can write!? Yes I know I am having a bit of a writing wobbly here but I think its allowed! Isn't it?  I really do feel like I am entering a whole new phase of my life sometimes and it does feel a little bit scary if I am honest. Ms Irrational Fear is my middle name!

But, just when I was starting to have all this self-doubt, a lovely author friend Sheryl Browne sent me an email to tell me just how great she thought my writing was. Isn't it funny how a few words in an email can hold such tremendous power. Words have the power to transform the fearful into the brave. They have the power to push us to keep taking another step forward when we've been paralyzed with fear for so long. So, thank you Sheryl for doing that for me. So remember.................choose your words carefully. What you say or write can not only change a person's thinking but also potentially transform a life.  What a great gift to give.

All aboard for change!

Well what a busy month May has turned out to be! Lots of changes on the horizon in terms of finding some time to actually get some writing done. After years of working full time I now finally have the opportunity to reduce to part time hours, beginning today! This was always my goal to allow myself to spend more time on book work and my own writing and to eventually give up work altogether. But, the opportunity never presented itself, or if it did, I was too scare to take the leap! A horrible few months in work have meant that my current post has been full of way too much stress and office politics which I won't get into. Suffice to say however that despite me feeling like things were rapidly going downhill and I was feeling constantly unhappy, it had one positive effect. It actually pushed me to seek out change. When I was feeling like things couldn't get any worse, the universe presented me with an answer.............a part time post in an office 5 minutes drive from my house instead of the 54 mile round trip I have been taking to work. So, I applied an got it! Would I have done this before? Probably not. Yes of course the drop in wages will be difficult but already the thought of being able to sit and write for a few hours a couple of times a week and build up my book tour business fills me full of nervous excitement. I feel giddy, scared, nervous and happy all at the same time!

For all you lucky people who work at home full time and write I applaud your bravery! Its a huge step! I'll probably need to be very disciplined in what I do on my days off. I suspect that the only way to make this work is to have a schedule in place. A time-table of work to stick to which I hope I follow religiously. I also suspect that there will be lots of distractions such as social media, offers of coffee mornings and lunches out and slobbing on the sofa eating cake and watching movies. I think the only way to make this successful is to keep reminding myself that those 2 days off are there to earn me a wage and not so I can flit about like a social butterfly. It is of course a disaster that one of my friends has given up work, one is going to be on maternity leave and the other is also changing to part time hours! The possibilities for girlie days out are endless..............BUT I WILL BE STRONG...........unless of course there is cake! And wine! Oh god keep me away from the wine! Who knows, I might even get this damn book edited!

Drowning, Not Waving!

You know that thing you tell yourself you are going to do when coming up to an important milestone in your life? Yes you do! The one that goes..........'now I am 40 I am going to do things that scare me.' Just me then? Ok.........moving swiftly on...........When I was 40 (6  years ago........but shhhhhhhhhh) I made a vow that I would do things that made me want to pass out with fright or balk at the idea. And, I've done a few from abseiling to taking up running to being on a radio show to attending book events to writing! The list does go on and I won't bore you! Well, this week I crossed another thing off my 'to do' list...............I attended a creative writing class! No big deal I hear some of you shout but for me it was a very big deal!

At the heart of it, I am not a very confident person despite the numerous photographs of me dancing on tables or doing the splits at parties (yes wine does have a lot to answer for!) The thing I am least confident at doing is sharing my writing. The thought of actually finishing this book and sending it to people to read makes me want to hyperventilate to the point of passing out and waking up in a pool of my own sweat! Not very pleasing imagery but there you go! I'm assuming anyone who has written books feels exactly the same way? For the love of all thing chocolately tell me its not just me!!!

Anyway, back to the story of my creative writing class. I had applied for a place on the class a few months ago to be told that all the spaces were filled. It was in the local library and was a free class so I had summoned up the courage to go apply and you can imagine how I felt to be told there was no room for me! So, I walked away, head down and defeated. I whined to my husband that I couldn't get onto the class and then told him my life was pants! He suggested that I go back and leave my phone number just in case anyone dropped out or another class was organised. Why hadn't I thought of that? Was I really secretly relieved that I wasn't going to have to do something scary?  Despite fear, I did go back and leave my number and basically forgot about the entire thing until I received a phone call last week asking me if I'd like to attend one of the classes as someone had dropped out. The lovely lady on the phone explained that she wasn't sure whether the person who had dropped out was coming back but offered me the chance to see what the classes are about so that when the next lot are organised I can attend. Well, I had nothing to lose had I? Well, ok ..........lets not think about that.

So, on Thursday evening off I went to the library armed with my trusty notebook and pens. I felt like a child on her first day at school. The class was taken by a local writer who was lovely. However, it was obvious that everyone else in the class knew each other..............of course they did! They'd been attending from the beginning. Oh boy did I feel out of my depth here. What if I made an arse of myself? It wouldn't be the first time.

The class began with a lovely gentleman reading out a sonnet he had written based on 'homework' given to the class. Oh holy smokes the sonnet was amazing! I definitely did not have that kind of writing skill! Why oh why had I sat at the front of the class, directly in front of the tutor. Why hadn't I sat somewhere that would make it easy to escape! So, I had no choice to stick it out. 

We were presented with a picture of a picnic scene which turned out to be from an old movie.  We were asked to pick out one of the characters and write about what they were thinking. What was their story? And, we had to write it in the first person. Now, I know enough to know what writing in the first person is. Well I did until I was asked to do it. Suddenly I got stage fright and my mind went completely blank. I can laugh about it now of course because its such a simple thing but there I was put on the spot and expected to write something! And I couldn't remember how to! My hand was literally shaking when I picked up my pen. I looked at my classmates who were all scribbling away furiously! Fight or flight kicked in and as I was unable to run away I decided to fight. I took a deep breath, wiped away the sweat from my eyes, cleaned my glasses and I wrote! To be fair, what I wrote wasn't great in the allocated 15 minute slot but I wrote nonetheless.  At the end of that excercise we were asked to turn to the person next to us and either read out what we had written so they could critique or explain what we thought our characters story was. Well hells bells I wasn't going to read anything out so I turned to the lovely lady beside me and explained what I thought the character I had picked was all about! I think I did ok and we had an interesting chat about perceptions of scenes and people. Great I thought! I can do this!

Our next exercise was to write a character bio for another person from the picture. I found this immensely interesting as I had done this for my NaNoWriMo project, although I learned a lot more about this process during the class and I will definitely go back to my book and look again at the bios I have written and expand on them more. It might help me to make them more interesting and add a bit more substance to their personalities.  When we had completed this exercise, each of us had to talk about the character we had chosen and talk about them like they was a person we were introducing or talking about to a friend. When my turn came I actually thought I was going to fall off my chair in a dead faint. But, after a few gasps for air I finally was able to read out what I had written for my character and he turned out to be pretty damn interesting! The tutor was impressed I think and my character, a Mr Frankie Conway who was an Irish - American gambler and womaniser jumped right off my page and has been filed away for future use! Thank you very much Mr Conway!

And so, there you have it! I am waiting to hear if there is a place for me at the next class. If not, the class is going to be evolving into a writers support group too so hopefully I will be involved in that. While the thought of attending another class does still scare the bejesus clean out of me I was glad that I did it. And, in some weird way, I want to do it again! I want to learn how to make my writing better. I want to know what I am doing wrong and to have the skills to fix it. I want to find the courage to put more of my writing out there and cross another goal off my bucket list. Watch this space!

Leaning Into the Curves!

Well, its finally happened. My first article as a columnist for www.loveahappyending.com is out there for the big bad world to see. You will either love it, hate it or just think its a bit blah! Personally, I think its pretty ok. And by god its true what they say................writing is like going out in public with no knickers on! You do feel so exposed!  I understand of course that the article content may not be of interest to everyone in the world but I hope that I have written it in such a way that even if the subject matter does not apply to you, the writing itself will bring even the smallest of smiles to your face. You can check out the article HERE. Please go and read it and inflate my ego enormously! I'd love to hear your thoughts on it.............good or bad.

One thing that starting to write articles for the magazine is teaching me is that its not that easy! While I used to write a personal blog around special needs issues, those posts were personal to me. The challenge in writing for a wider audience is to make sure that I don't personalise each article too much and make it all about me. Because the feature is about Home Help, I need to write content that encompasses quite a wide audience from parents, to homemakers to career minded women/men to well.............just about everyone I suppose and actually hope that people do find the articles helpful!  While I want the articles to be informative I don't want them to be too serious either. I think we can take life far too seriously and that just sucks the fun out of everything!

Yesterday I sat down to put together my 2nd article for the magazine and BOOM! Writer's Block! I mean seriously! I have a huge list of topics I'd like to cover in the features and so while it was very quiet in work I thought I'd get started on the next thing on the list. I merrily sat covertly typing away hoping that the boss didn't walk in on me typing up an article instead of writing the boring stuff I'm paid to write. I got about 4 paragraphs in when suddenly my mind went completely blank! My brain shut down faster than a computer installing Windows 10! Now, for me this is something quite unexpected because my brain never shuts up! It constantly babbles on and on at me, never giving me a moments peace. And, for those that know me well, my mouth never closes either and the two are in constant conflict! I sat looking blankly at the screen and then just put my head on the desk and counted to ten!
 

Yes I know I probably looked like some mad writerly type (Here's Johnny!!!) I thankfully hadn't reached axe wielding stage! A few big deep breaths however, a bar of chocolate and a reboot of my brain showed me what was wrong. While I had an general outline of what I wanted the article to be about and had been happily bashing away at the keyboard I realised that I in fact wanted to write something else entirely! The writer's block I suppose was my brain's version of an update! You know those annoying things that happen to your laptop when you are mid writing and the damn thing restarts without any prior warning.  My brain was trying to alert me to the fact that it was at odds with what I was writing. Now this is a new thing for me. As a fledgling writer I had often read of the dreaded writer's block or plot lines taking new directions but hadn't really experienced it to such a degree. It happened a few times during my NaNoWriMo project but not as abruptly as this. Then, there had always been a gradual sort of re-plotting and days of my brain toying with the idea. Not this! Goodness me this writing lark is going to be fun!

Writing appears to be a constant learning curve. Sometimes I am a pro at leaning into the curves and following the road ahead. Other times I fall flat on my ass and need to dust myself off and start again, hoping that I don't run out of fuel before I've finished. I often wonder if I have what it takes and have to remind myself that of course I have! Ultimately I am writing for me and if the end result is that one or two other people actually like what I write then I've contributed in some small way to the world of writing. I'm not sure my name will ever be in lights or whether I'll ever be lucky enough to see anything I've written on shelves but I do know I am extremely lucky to have been given the opportunities I have. I am extremely lucky to have such a great supportive writing network and wonderful author and blogger friends who are encouraging and just amazing! The rest, as they say, is up to me. I'm looking forward to a great Summer when I will be off work from the day job and I can concentrate more on my writing and my book work. Who knows, maybe I just might get that damned NaNoWriMo project finished before I have to start the next one. Buckle up! Its gonna be a bumpy ride!