Is it Me?

They say you should write about what you know but I am wondering how much of this would actually get you into trouble? When I finished my Nano project in November 2015 it was a huge feeling of relief. Up to that point I wouldn't talk about the plot at all with my husband and eventually when I told him what it was all about he looked at me, smirked and said, 'So its plain to see who each of the characters is based on!' Ooops! Was I that transparent?

That got me wondering whether I was going to get myself into a whole lot of trouble if the book was ever published. I knew I was basing the main characters on real people and some of my own experiences but I stupidly thought no one would make the connection! My darling husband and his enormous and infuriating brain figured it out in seconds. Fortunately I don't give a monkey's ass about the opinions of the people that some of the characters might closely resemble (Admit to nothing I hear you shout). I am no longer in contact with them and they'd never admit to reading any book I wrote! However, I am now left with another dilemma. I have an idea for a second book and its very clearly based on myself and my friends. Although, my friends do know about it and I threaten them now and again to base a 30 stone transvestite on one of them or a raging sex mad alcoholic! Seriously though, I am wondering just how careful are other writers around basing their characters on real people. I know that if I ever write this book I am going to have to be very careful when writing about people I know will read the book. I don't want to offend or hurt and I'm hoping they will see what I am writing as a compliment to the wonderful people that they are.

I think its quite difficult not to use traits from other people for your characters, particularly when they are things that make some sort of an impact on you whether from an emotional point of view or because you think they are the most wonderful people in the world and that needs to be shared. I know that some of the traits of my very best friends are what makes me love them so much. But, not being the most experienced of writers I'd love to hear the opinions of other writers. Do you risk an onslaught from the 'real' people in your life if you base a character, no matter how loosely on them? Are they easily offended? Do you live in fear of the neighbours slashing your car tyres or excluding you, heaven forbid, from all the neighbourhood watch meetings all because you wrote about a cul-de-sac where there was a bit of wife swapping or mad affairs going on in the garden shed at the bottom of the garden (yeah this happened!). Are you afraid Auntie Mabel will cross you off her Christmas card because you wrote about an elderly female character with a liking for smoking Cuban cigars or that Uncle Max will write you out of his will? Or worse, leave you his damn cat as a punishment when he knows you are allergic to cats all because you mentioned his fascination with ladies knickers! Are you at risk of totally alienating yourself from friends and family who live in fear you are going to write then into a book and then kill them off even if you have no intention of doing so!?

At a recent book launch for Colin Bateman's book Papercuts, which is set in my home town, he joked that often people think characters are based on them when in fact they aren't. I thought this was really interesting. Is it a case of inflated egos that cause people to assume they are the basis for a character or is it perhaps really clever writing that lets a reader see a part of themselves in a character who isn't actually based on anyone in particular? Some books probably fly pretty close to the wire and writers do have to be very careful from a legal point of view. Or is it a case of write and be damned with the consequences! I suppose all this will come down to experience / stupidity / naivety or all three!

I think that there is no doubt that it is impossible to write characters that may have some resemblance to real people and whether writers do that unconsciously or not I'm not altogether sure. I'm pretty sure that a lot of experiences written about are based on someone's real life experience. In my book some of what happens or the things said to the female lead character are things once said to me. Did I write this as a sort of therapy? Possibly. Did I write it as revenge? Absolutely not. I wrote it because it made a good story. I know that when I was writing my Nano book I googled photographs of what I thought the characters looked like and based a lot of stuff around that. Unfortunately they happen to look like people I know! Oh dear. I'll just sit here and wait for the court summons then if the book ever gets into print! Watch this space!

Library Lout!

Ok so what genius decided that firstly there should only be 24 hours in a day? And secondly, why do we need to sleep? I mean its a massive waste of valuable time! Those who know me well know that I don't sleep particularly well anyway but wouldn't it be wonderful if places like the library opened in the middle of the night? I bet they would be full to bursting with writers looking for some head space and readers just wanting to escape from their own dull and insomniac existence and disappear into a thousand books!

Why am I complaining again and this time about time? Well, my best laid plans to get myself organised and do more writing have fallen a bit flat! At the moment all my free time is taken up with family stuff or book blogging / touring work. Not that I mind any of that for one moment but it does eat into a fair amount of my time. Oh and then there is the dreaded day job which actually just feels like a huge weight around my neck right now. Yeah its useful for paying some of the bills but I can slowly feel my brain getting ready to pack its bags and leave home! And who could blame it!

I'm not sure about where others find the best place to write is but mine currently is the library. I always thought that once I got my own desk at home I would start writing like a mad writing thing (otherwise known as a writer / author). However, when writing at home there are a few things that distract me - 

1. Facebook and all other forms of social media! Yeah of course I can access those things at the library but I'm much more disciplined there than I am at home.

2. Interesting blog posts - Oi stop reading this. You should be writing instead!

3. The dog - now I know you are reading this with one of those baffled looks on your face. I adore my dog. He is part of my family but by god he is a needy hound! The minute I sit down with the laptop there he is wanting to sit on my knee. Then he starts pressing the keys on the laptop, deleting entire chapters! Or, he sits at the window and barks at every man, woman and child that walks past the house. Doggy world war ensues if another dog walks past!

4. Other people - Apparently when my car is parked in my driveway it acts as a homing beacon for others to come visit me and sit for hours on end! I don't write but I do eat a lot of buns instead!

5. My daughter - I love this kid with every heartbeat. She, like a lot of teens spends large amounts of time in her room. That is until I open my laptop and then she suddenly has 100000000 things she wants to tell me! At once!

6. Housework - I am one of those weirdos who cannot write in a messy room. So, before sitting down to write I tidy up a bit. Then, I decide to do a little dusting. Then I end up doing laundry and before I know it I am down on my hands and knees scrubbing skirting boards and suddenly there's no time to write.

So, for now the only writing I can do is at my local library. Unfortunately this means only once a week. Is it enough time? Probably not. But, for me its still an opportunity that I love to exploit and something I am beginning to really look forward to! I would have disappeared for hours in the old library when I was a child. The place always held such a fascination for me and I loved the old building. Its since had a massive overhaul and a giant extension put onto it and although I hate the look of the extension I still love the place! Does that make sense?  I love the fact that I am surrounded by books. All those millions of words spilled out onto pages. Stories that have made people happy, sad, inspired or excited! Oh and the smell of the books! Good grief! Its almost better than sex......................I said almost! (*waves at husband who might be reading this). 

OLD LIBRARY BUILDING

OLD LIBRARY BUILDING WITH EXTENSION

 

I love the fact the library sits in the middle of the park with ducks waddling about outside! I love the fact that everyone is always nice and quiet - except the bloke who sits opposite me sometimes and whisper sings! You know the sort! He wears headphones and sings in a massively loud whisper type way while closing his eyes and swaying like a demented cobra! Then he suddenly opens his eyes, keeps whisper singing and types away at a thousand miles an hour. Maybe the music inspires him! I know I do that when I'm at home and my family throw cushions at me to get me to stop singing so I better not do it at the library. Someone might throw a book at me! Oh a book................lovely books.............*drools

I also love the fact that I am surrounded by others furiously typing away on their laptops too. I like to pretend that they are other writers, penning the next great masterpiece and that I sat in the same room as them when they were writing the next big literary hit. I suppose half of them are probably students writing some very interesting thesis on the mating habits of the banana fly (There is actually a book about this. Its a book about the facts of life!). Or, perhaps some of them are having online affairs with strangers boasting their very own red room of pain! Who knows! I find it all fascinating. There was even someone last week who brought their packed lunch with them!  Oh but hold on.............are they my new distraction? Eeeek! But, I do love to people watch and some of them do give me some fab ideas for characters!

One of these days I will find the time to book myself away on a writing retreat and just type away all day! I am massively envious of those who avail of such a treat. Unfortunately time, family and financial constraints means that won't happen. In the meantime I will continue with my little library excursions for a few hours on a Saturday. I love it! I feel happy and inspired there. I only wish the library was open all the time! Save our lovely libraries. For some people its the only retreat from a hectic life.  So, this Valentine's weekend I am declaring my love for libraries!

Me, Myself and I

My dream is to disappear from the rat race, find a scheduled cottage halfway up a mountain. I'd bring with me the following:

• My laptop - to write
• A supply of notebooks and pens.
• My kindle - to read
• A steamer trunk full of books -to read
• A couple of cases of wine - to drink (duh!)
• 6 months supply of good food.
• Fluffy PJ's and slippers
• My phone - for the music of course!

And then, I'd just disappear for 6 months. I'd like some fresh food air dropped in once a week. When I tell my friends this they laugh! I think I am considered a bit of a strange one but this is my idea of pure heaven. Today, when the world is such a hectic place and there never seems to be a moment to stop and catch our breath, the idea of running away from it all is one that does consume my mind on many an occasion. Imagine waking up in a giant bed every morning, snuggled up with big chunky blankets, an open fire in the grate and complete silence all around. Next imagine getting out of that bed, opening the curtains and seeing a white winter wonderland or a beautiful spring meadow.  And then, after breakfast snuggling down on the sofa by the roaring fire and either reading or writing. *sigh*

In the modern world that is today, people are no longer happy or comfortable in their own company. The idea of isolation is appalling to many and I suppose it is a very personal thing. But imagine how chilled you'd be! Imagine not having to think about anyone but yourself. Imagine the self indulgence of having months of 'you time'. Could you cope? I definitely could but I'm not sure there are many who could. We seem to have few opportunities presented to us in which to experience true solitude and simply gather our thoughts. Would be more well rounded individuals or would we go stir crazy? Would we pen the next masterpiece or would we end up throwing the laptop out the window and going completely bonkers in a Jack Torrance (The Shining) type way? Would we end up having full scale conversations with book characters (yes I know most of already do that!)? Would you enjoy filling your day with all things literary or would you end up eating the books?

I think some of my friends would see this type of adventure (yes I do see it as an adventure of the mind) as pure torture whereas I would see it as an opportunity to relax, recharge and dream! I know that this is a contradiction of a previous post where I said I couldn't relax and needed to always be busy. But, for this type of opportunity I could ditch the busy bee mania that usually takes over my life! Unfortunately this type of dream is only achievable if you don't have any family commitments, work commitments and lots of money! Are you sane enough (or insane) to give this type of thing a go? Do you have unlimited funds? Then give me a call!!! I'll see you up the mountain!

Are you sitting down?

Are you sitting comfortably? You are? Well why are you sitting down in the first place? Get off your backside and go do something constructive! Ok, wait! Don't go and do something until you've read this post first! (Way to go Debs to get rid of readers!)

According to my husband I am a freak! Yes you read that right. I am a freak of nature. One of those weird people who have no clue how to relax. And, as much as I hate to admit it, he's right! God! He's such a smartarse! I am one of those people who is so busy that the ability to relax has become a skill long lost. I don't even take the time to relax in the bath. I remember a time when I was feeling stressed, running around like a nut and came home to find my lovely husband had run a bath, put candles all around it, warmed up some big fluffy towels and poured me wine. And, did I enjoy it? Was I grateful? Hell no! Of course, I didn't tell him that! I smiled appreciatively and thanked him for his kindness. It was a lovely thing for him to have done. But, what was running through my brain? Well, for a start my first thought was, 'I don't have time for a bath!' My second was, 'I might clean the bathroom later,' and did in fact clean the bath while I was sitting in it! It's insane I know but something I think sums up my lifestyle pretty well!

In an age when we are expected to be all things to all people and cram as much into our days as is  humanly possible we always take the quickest options, the fastest route or the one that allows us to fit as much into a small time frame as is possible. When did this happen? Is it a modern thing? I'm not sure. All I know is that the fact that there are not more hours in the day is something that stresses me out more than I can say! Perhaps its because I work full time plus try to write AND run a book tour company and be a carer that I feel this way. Although, part of the problem is that there is so much more that I WANT to do. Not stuff that I SHOULD do. I want to fit in more adventures and extra fun into an already manic lifestyle! I want to read more books. Chase that bookish job / career. I want to spend more time writing instead of snatching at the small pockets of time that open up to me occasionally.  Every time I have some rare free time I try to fill that time with something. Its all so exhausting!  Hell, I can do it though!!! Just give me more time!

I've often wondered whether this is an affliction that only hits the female of the species? My husband is by no means lazy. He does so much of the parenting and domestic chores whilst working in a very stressful job himself and trying to support me in all I do too. Although, today we don't  have our daughter to look after. Its a respite weekend for us and one that is much needed. Instead of relaxing like I'm supposed to do I was up early this morning and took my son out suit shopping for a job interview next week. Then we went food shopping and I did some cooking, some blog chores and a few other chores that needed doing. When I finish this post I am going to do some writing and reading. My husband on the other hand is lying on the sofa snoring his head off and its only 3.30pm! I love the man dearly but right at this minute I want to beat him around the head with my laptop! Sleeping during the day? Relaxing? Chilling out? Imagine!!! What a weirdo! I did suggest at lunch time that we ignore the sleet that is lashing against the window and go for a brisk walk with the dog along the coast. The dear man looked at me like I was insane and the dog hid under the sofa!

So, there you have it! I have forgotten how to relax. Its a weird affliction and one I hope someone finds a cure for soon. I imagine however that the only cure is a week lying on a hammock on some tropical island. Unfortunately that isn't going to happen any time soon so for now I will just have to suffer on. In the meantime, I'm going to go waken my husband and drag him outside for some fresh air.............or maybe just go out for pizza and wine instead! Decisions, decisions!

2016 here I come, ready or not!

My goodness! It seems we have all found ourselves at the beginning of a brand new year! And, like every new year I always like to start with a load of unattainable resolutions, setting myself up for complete and utter failure! Why do we do that? Promises to ourselves made in the heat of alcohol induced confidence on 31st December perhaps? Or do we really want to do the things we promise ourselves? Surely if we did then we'd just go ahead and do them. Wouldn't we? Of course we would.............I think! Quite often I set myself a goal. And then I fall flat on my face! Again! But with every passing year my expectations of myself and my 'goal posts' change a little. As I become older (as I'm constantly reminded of by my step daughter), my priorities change and I want different things out of life. Sometimes squeezing into a pair of size 8 jeans doesn't seem nearly as important as losing weight simply to be healthy. Or, being a little more fashionable doesn't seem as important as being happy in my own skin. I often wonder if we never truly make a decent attempt at reaching those goals because we are actually a little bit afraid of success. What would we dream about then if we actually reached those goals? No one said life provides any easy answers. Sometimes its damn well confusing!

So, what weird and wonderful new years resolutions have I set myself this year? All of my goals for 2016 are writing related. As many of you know, I took part in NaNoWriMo in 2015 and loved every back breaking, nervous breakdown inducing moment of it. It was tough. It made me cry. It made me laugh. Most of all, it gave me a great sense of achievement and a certainty that I should always be writing. I always knew I should be. I used to write a lot but life being what it is I always had other things to do. I don't think I'm particularly brilliant at it. Writing I mean. Not life. I'm damn good at life. I've got too much of it going on! I know I'm not going to be the next great author, wowing the world with my books. I just want to do something I love. There's too much going on in my head and I need to get it out. Since I started book blogging and in turn organising virtual book tours for authors I have grown a little in confidence. I now have many author friends who I respect enormously and I see how they have overcome some of life's obstacles to reach their dreams of being published. What a fantastic group of people! What an inspiration! I also see the generosity of the book blogging world and the support given to authors and I know I'll never be alone. I'll never be without a friend for advice, guidance or a shoulder to cry on when needed.

I still have so much to learn and the idea of sharing anything with anyone fills me full of fear and trepidation. I'd rather walk across hot coals than let anyone read what was written during my NaNoWriMo adventure.  Hopefully those feelings will soon ease a little and enough to let me hit the SEND button to share my writing with someone someday. But, the one goal I can achieve and in fact have already started is that I have started rewriting the Nano book. I sat with the laptop in front of me for ages, a cold sweat breaking out. I'd put it off all day but as I started to read the first chapter I thought of so many things that I should add to it. I have re-written it a couple of times now and I probably won't look at it again until the second round of rewrites. I'm taking this slowly. One chapter at a time. That's just how I work. I'll thrash the damn book to death before I'm remotely happy with it. It may take me years but at least I'm doing it! Something I never thought would happen. I'm still struggling with the idea of calling myself a writer. Am I really? Or am I just playing at it? Is it merely only a hobby or a vocation? Are those people who love to take lots of photographs really  photographers? Am I a wine critic because I drink it by the bucket? Probably not. For now, I suppose I am a wannabe. I hate that word but there you have it!

I've also promised myself I'll start keeping a diary again. Its always something I say I'll do and usually start but never continue with. Well, I figured that by telling you about it means I have no other choice but to keep a diary and fill it full of rubbish from my brain. Because, just in case you hadn't already noticed, I like to say a lot. So, for that very reason I have a diary which only allows me one page per day. Its a way of making me more succinct in my writing I suppose and try and cut out the crap I write. I don't want a diary to be a way for me to complain bitterly about my day or bitch about someone (I have this blog for that!). I'd like to add quotes I have found or links to important writing resources. Now and again there might be the odd 'I hate you cruel world' entry in it but I'll try to keep those to a minimum! We could all do without that sort of negativity. I just need to accept that sometimes life sucks! Get over it!

Another thing I've promised I'll do is find time to enter the odd short story competition or some other writing related comp so if anyone knows of any please let me know. I think entering things like this will keep me sharp. I'm going to be on the lookout for writing prompts too. I'm one of those people who sometimes needs a nudge in the right direction. I love grabbing hold of a suggestion or idea someone comes up with and doing something with it. When I was at school all those millions of years ago I used to love being given a title or a word and told to write a short story around it. While the rest of the class groaned their disapproval of the task I was in my element.  Yes my friends think I am a weirdo and they might be right. Didn't someone once say that you have to be insane to write? Probably something to do with those voices that keep popping into your head at the most inopportune moments!

I suppose one of my biggest goals this year is to make my book tour business even more successful. I love what I do and one day it will generate enough business to allow me to stay at home full time to pursue other writing work. Someone somewhere in the big old bookish world might even offer me a job! I'd certainly give up the other job (that currently pays the bills) in a heartbeat to do something I truly love. Can you imagine a job that involves books and writing and meeting authors and attending or organising book launches! Oh I feel dizzy with excitement at the thought of it...............or is that my hormones? I am a woman of a certain age after all! I want Brook Cottage Books to be thought of as one of the best book promotion places to go to. I want to provide a warm and friendly service that feels like the natural place for authors and publishers to come to. A book home from home. One fine day I'll even learn to promote myself a bit more.  Who knows what 2016 will bring. I'm hoping it brings 40 hour days so I can fit all of my New Year goals in but I can't see that happening! Anyway, happy New Year one and all. May 2016 be the year of your dreams.

Time to swap my superwoman knickers for granny bloomers? I don't think so!

As I am now on the wrong side of 40 it often occurs to me that as I hurtle towards 50, I still feel like a teenager. I don't consider myself  'old' and have often prided myself on the fact that I am 'in with the kids' as my 22 year old son likes to tell me. So, you can imagine my horror at experiencing ageism not once this week but twice. The first time ever! To say I was a tad annoyed is an understatement. More so because the ageist comments came from my 21 year old step daughter! And, I thought she considered me pretty cool! (*face palm)

I suppose when my step daughter looks at me and her father she sees old farts and she made this point quite clear. But then, sometimes when I look at her I want to shove her boobs back in her top and wish her skirt covered her knickers but there you go! A little bit of ageism all of  my own there! The world would be a boring place if we all conformed. And, if that's what makes her comfortable in the world I have as little right to correct her as she has to correct me. But, if you can't take it then don't give it! Suck it up buttercup! Your evil step Ma is surfacing! I will admit to initially being very upset by the comments when they were made but as my friends have pointed out, they are the comments of a mere child! How true! But, as a fledgling writer it piqued my interest and made for interesting blog fodder whilst giving me the opportunity for a good old rant! What's not to love!

Did all you other old farts out there realise though that once we hit 40 we shouldn't be out dancing and making fools of ourselves? No? Neither did I! And, if we want to do such things we should just stay at home and enjoy ourselves there as we make bigger fools of ourselves trying to pretend we are younger than we are! I wasn't aware we were. I mean dear god who wants to be that young and stupid again? Not me! Who wants to just have a laugh, be proud of all we've overcome and remember how good it is to be alive? That would be me!

Ok now sit down before you fall down you old dears! The news was a shock to me too. Who knew that life ended at 40! And, it gets worse! 

( Oh no I hear you cry into your lace hankies. Hold on to your zimmer frames people!) Apparently there's a rule in some overly pretentious nightclubs, including the one she works in, that if your face doesn't fit then you don't get in! Not only is there a lower age limit but there's an upper one too! Time to hit the botox clinics and get out your giant knickers! But then, according to my step daughter why on earth would someone as old as me want to go to a nightclub!? I don't necessarily want to go to somewhere that is filled with idiots who think its cool to spend mummy and daddy's hard earned money on extortionately over priced alcohol or with men who wear more fake tan than me. But, and this is the crux.....................IF I WANT TO DANCE I WILL DANCE WHERE I DAMN WELL PLEASE! I don't frequent places because of the age group of the other patrons. I go where there is fun, great music and great company. The club where she works doesn't sound like the sort of place I'd ever want to go to anyway. I do have some standards but I am tempted to arrive en masse with a group of oldies!

Now, as someone who is almost a coffin dodger apparently, I can take the ridiculously immature, ill thought out and downright rude comments about age and the restrictions that morons have pulled from their empty heads and file them in my mental filing cabinet under G for Garbage! That is of course if I can find my mental filing cabinet in my old and crusty brain! It appears that with youth lacks a distinct balance of respect and the ability to form any sensible opinion about what it means to live life to the full and without limits.

Thankfully I am not decrepit enough to make a mass generalization about all the young uns. Most are pretty cool! But with others, some thoughts are best kept inside their heads with all the other fuzzy stuff that's stored there. Yes of course we've all commented on those people who do make complete eejits out of themselves on a night out but do we really have the right to give an opinion on someone who is clearly having a good time if all they are doing is having a laugh. They aren't endangering themselves or others but are simply enjoying a night out. I will valiantly defend my right to party!! Ok so I might need to pee more often but good grief I will have fun, Tena lady or no Tena lady!

I am lucky enough to have a very close group of 5 friends who have been there for me through thick and thin for over 25 years. We all went to school together and our friendship just grows stronger with every passing year. They are the sisters I would have chosen for myself. Whilst our hair has turned a little grey and our faces a little more wrinkled, we have never lost our sense of fun. Ever! Each of us has in turn had some traumatic life event or ongoing issue in our personal lives and the only way to deal with difficult times is to laugh your way through it with good friends. Imagine our shock to be told that we should only do that laughing and have that fun confined to our living rooms and in our slippers! I'm not sure we could or should deprive the sad old world we live in  of our girly giggles, mad dancing jiggles and snorting wine out our noses just because we are over 40!

So, in the spirit in which the comments were given, and ridiculous rules made, I have written this post. Yes its a bit ranty but being ancient has afforded me that right! If those young whipper snappers are entitled to an opinion then so am I. I do wonder if those who think that us oldies shouldn't have a life are the same young people who are constantly looking to us for money when they seem to so often need it, help with bills or fees or sagely advice when they have screwed up.  

Personally, I happen to think that my life is a little bit more exciting than counting grey hairs, cleaning the oven and clipping my toenails. After many hardships and a fear of following my dreams I find myself in the fortunate position of thoroughly loving life and taking on more challenges that I would ever have done in my 20's. Its time to chase those dreams now and have a wild ride along the way!  If my clapped out body hasn't died by the time my lovely step daughter is 45 years old I shall remind her of this conversation and laugh my denim clad ass off as I jiggle my way out of the house on a mad girlie night out! Oh and just in case you were wondering, the other ageist remark was that I am too old to go get my nose pierced. Now, that just sounds like a challenge to me! (insert evil laugh here).

Nano What?

Someone shout at me. I had promised back in July to keep this blog a little more updated but as usual life got in the way! Shout at me on social media now and again if you see me being lazy with this blog! You have my permission to kick ass!

Anyway, lets get to the subject at hand. I participated in Nano this year! 'Nano what?' I hear you shout! NaNoWriMo is National Novel Writing Month and takes place every November. The challenge, to write 50,000 words of a novel in 30 days. For all you smarty pants out there thinking 'Oh that's easy peasy,' just let me take a moment to slap you upside the head with my very heavy thesaurus!  Have you ever tried to sit and write 50,000 words. Have you? Hmm!

Last year I thought I'd give the challenge a go but only got as far as writing 2000 words. I gave up almost in the first couple of days and didn't really think too much of it. Then throughout the year I've been hearing about authors whose current book is a book that was written as part of the Nanowrimo challenge and it piqued my interest again. So, I signed up and bought the teeshirt (yup there's a teeshirt) and promised myself that come hell or high water I was going to complete the challenge this year if it killed me. It nearly did! But, I preserved and by the end of day 29 I was done! I was a Nanowrimo winner!

Is what I've written a really good book right now? Hell no! I intend to spend the next few months going through my original plotting plans and each chapter and adding and taking a few things away. I'll probably change the title too. Basically, a total re-write I would imagine because although the original challenge is over, my characters just will simply not shut up! I keep thinking of new things to add to their story! New plot twists and new characters! I think this will be an ever evolving thing until I am completely happy with it.

So, what did I get out of it? Well, its made me a bit more disciplined in sitting down and writing, even if its only the odd 100 words here or there or writing in this poor abandoned blog. A sense of personal achievement I think too. When I was writing the final chapters of the book I was sobbing. It was so overwhelming both physically and emotionally because on that last day I wrote over 13,000 words. Do I consider myself an author? Hmmm not really sure to be honest. Is there a difference between an author and a writer or are they one and the same? I write a lot, so am I a writer? I've contributed to a few published anthologies and co-wrote a book for charity. Does that make me an author? Hell I don't know! I wish someone would tell me! Or, am I a wannabe? What do I call myself? Answers on a postcard please. 

I think that because the reaction from family members has been quite muted I am reserving judgement myself. My husband tells people I am writing a book but not sure he'd call me a writer just yet. He's had to take on even more of the household and childcare chores than he previously had and hasn't complained once about doing so. He hasn't complained when I've sat at the laptop for 14 hours solid, unless you count an argument about whether we should have chips or mash for tea! My friends think its great but are worried they are going to end up in a book! (one or two have but shhhhh). My poor misguided daughter thinks I am going to be a multimillionaire and buy her a pony. She thinks writers make a fortune! hahahaah! My son just keeps making me cups of tea and giving me a hug to keep me going through the writing process. As for everyone else in my life..........there has been little or  no reaction or support which has been both surprising and a little disappointing. Maybe I needed to shout more loudly about what I was doing. But I'm a big girl and know how damn well amazing my achievement has been without endorsements from those with little or no interest. That is, until you come across my lovely online friends who have been truly astounding! What a supportive and encouraging lot they are! And, the advice and guidance has been amazing. I am very lucky to have such a wonderful bookish family.

One thing I do know for sure though is that something that evoked such passion in me when I was younger has over the last couple of years been awoken again and its taking over my brain. I feel like I've been invaded by a body snatcher and the symbiotic relationship compels me to write. Its all I want to do.............sit down and write. But, like everyone else, life keeps sticking its big nosy nose (not sure that was grammatically correct!) in and putting obstacles in my way! Juggling so many commitments both personally and professionally often means that my writing takes a back seat while I promote the books written by people who really are authors! Talented and wonderful people.  And, that is just fine. I love what I do in the book world and I love the friends I have made and the important industry connections.  I hate what I do outside that world but that's the job that pays most of the bills unfortunately! Maybe some day the universe will conspire to allow me to stay at home and continue with my book work full time while allowing me a few minutes each day to write. Maybe a nice publisher will pay me to work from home?? Come on universe! Cough up some good karma for me!

If you completed the Nano challenge then well done. If you didn't get to 50,000 words well done also. You sat down and you poured your heart onto a page. We are all winners! I'm very proud of you.