Writer Wobbly!

Lots of excitement this week as my second article in the Loveahappyending.com magazine went live! Hooray! When I read the article I did actually feel a little bit in awe that it was me that had written it and it actually wasn't half bad! To see anything I have written out in the big bad worldwide web is a bit of a buzz! You can check out my article HERE. I'd love to hear your thoughts on it. Although, already I am seeing ways I could have improved it! Is anyone ever really happy with what they have written or are you always subconsciously editing and rewriting stuff long after you have written it?

This week also saw me attending my second creative writing class and this time I did feel a little more confident. And, just when my confidence was growing, I realised that this was the last class before the Summer break! Damn it! However, all was not lost. One lady on the course is arranging a series of literary evenings in her house and asked me if I was interested in attending. Of course I am! And, a couple of lovely ladies in the class invited me to join them on a regular meet up over the Summer to talk about and critique our work. We are going to meet up in a swanky coffee shop, drink tea, eat buns and generally talk about our writing. We might even set each other writing challenges too and I was thinking about how to expand on this idea so if any of you wonderful literary friends have some good ideas for writing prompts or writing exercises then I'd love to hear them!

Having friends with a common interest really does help you to feel part of a bigger community. I do have lots and lots of wonderful author and blogger friends online and I get to meet up with some of them now and again. However, to suddenly become part of a writing community close to home feels really fantastic. Of course, the idea of sharing my writing with real people makes me want to pass out in a dead faint! What if they really hate what I have written. One of them is a journalist and really knows her stuff. What if she thinks I am a fraud!? Oh my god! What if I am a fraud!? What if I deluding myself that I can write!? Yes I know I am having a bit of a writing wobbly here but I think its allowed! Isn't it?  I really do feel like I am entering a whole new phase of my life sometimes and it does feel a little bit scary if I am honest. Ms Irrational Fear is my middle name!

But, just when I was starting to have all this self-doubt, a lovely author friend Sheryl Browne sent me an email to tell me just how great she thought my writing was. Isn't it funny how a few words in an email can hold such tremendous power. Words have the power to transform the fearful into the brave. They have the power to push us to keep taking another step forward when we've been paralyzed with fear for so long. So, thank you Sheryl for doing that for me. So remember.................choose your words carefully. What you say or write can not only change a person's thinking but also potentially transform a life.  What a great gift to give.

All aboard for change!

Well what a busy month May has turned out to be! Lots of changes on the horizon in terms of finding some time to actually get some writing done. After years of working full time I now finally have the opportunity to reduce to part time hours, beginning today! This was always my goal to allow myself to spend more time on book work and my own writing and to eventually give up work altogether. But, the opportunity never presented itself, or if it did, I was too scare to take the leap! A horrible few months in work have meant that my current post has been full of way too much stress and office politics which I won't get into. Suffice to say however that despite me feeling like things were rapidly going downhill and I was feeling constantly unhappy, it had one positive effect. It actually pushed me to seek out change. When I was feeling like things couldn't get any worse, the universe presented me with an answer.............a part time post in an office 5 minutes drive from my house instead of the 54 mile round trip I have been taking to work. So, I applied an got it! Would I have done this before? Probably not. Yes of course the drop in wages will be difficult but already the thought of being able to sit and write for a few hours a couple of times a week and build up my book tour business fills me full of nervous excitement. I feel giddy, scared, nervous and happy all at the same time!

For all you lucky people who work at home full time and write I applaud your bravery! Its a huge step! I'll probably need to be very disciplined in what I do on my days off. I suspect that the only way to make this work is to have a schedule in place. A time-table of work to stick to which I hope I follow religiously. I also suspect that there will be lots of distractions such as social media, offers of coffee mornings and lunches out and slobbing on the sofa eating cake and watching movies. I think the only way to make this successful is to keep reminding myself that those 2 days off are there to earn me a wage and not so I can flit about like a social butterfly. It is of course a disaster that one of my friends has given up work, one is going to be on maternity leave and the other is also changing to part time hours! The possibilities for girlie days out are endless..............BUT I WILL BE STRONG...........unless of course there is cake! And wine! Oh god keep me away from the wine! Who knows, I might even get this damn book edited!

Drowning, Not Waving!

You know that thing you tell yourself you are going to do when coming up to an important milestone in your life? Yes you do! The one that goes..........'now I am 40 I am going to do things that scare me.' Just me then? Ok.........moving swiftly on...........When I was 40 (6  years ago........but shhhhhhhhhh) I made a vow that I would do things that made me want to pass out with fright or balk at the idea. And, I've done a few from abseiling to taking up running to being on a radio show to attending book events to writing! The list does go on and I won't bore you! Well, this week I crossed another thing off my 'to do' list...............I attended a creative writing class! No big deal I hear some of you shout but for me it was a very big deal!

At the heart of it, I am not a very confident person despite the numerous photographs of me dancing on tables or doing the splits at parties (yes wine does have a lot to answer for!) The thing I am least confident at doing is sharing my writing. The thought of actually finishing this book and sending it to people to read makes me want to hyperventilate to the point of passing out and waking up in a pool of my own sweat! Not very pleasing imagery but there you go! I'm assuming anyone who has written books feels exactly the same way? For the love of all thing chocolately tell me its not just me!!!

Anyway, back to the story of my creative writing class. I had applied for a place on the class a few months ago to be told that all the spaces were filled. It was in the local library and was a free class so I had summoned up the courage to go apply and you can imagine how I felt to be told there was no room for me! So, I walked away, head down and defeated. I whined to my husband that I couldn't get onto the class and then told him my life was pants! He suggested that I go back and leave my phone number just in case anyone dropped out or another class was organised. Why hadn't I thought of that? Was I really secretly relieved that I wasn't going to have to do something scary?  Despite fear, I did go back and leave my number and basically forgot about the entire thing until I received a phone call last week asking me if I'd like to attend one of the classes as someone had dropped out. The lovely lady on the phone explained that she wasn't sure whether the person who had dropped out was coming back but offered me the chance to see what the classes are about so that when the next lot are organised I can attend. Well, I had nothing to lose had I? Well, ok ..........lets not think about that.

So, on Thursday evening off I went to the library armed with my trusty notebook and pens. I felt like a child on her first day at school. The class was taken by a local writer who was lovely. However, it was obvious that everyone else in the class knew each other..............of course they did! They'd been attending from the beginning. Oh boy did I feel out of my depth here. What if I made an arse of myself? It wouldn't be the first time.

The class began with a lovely gentleman reading out a sonnet he had written based on 'homework' given to the class. Oh holy smokes the sonnet was amazing! I definitely did not have that kind of writing skill! Why oh why had I sat at the front of the class, directly in front of the tutor. Why hadn't I sat somewhere that would make it easy to escape! So, I had no choice to stick it out. 

We were presented with a picture of a picnic scene which turned out to be from an old movie.  We were asked to pick out one of the characters and write about what they were thinking. What was their story? And, we had to write it in the first person. Now, I know enough to know what writing in the first person is. Well I did until I was asked to do it. Suddenly I got stage fright and my mind went completely blank. I can laugh about it now of course because its such a simple thing but there I was put on the spot and expected to write something! And I couldn't remember how to! My hand was literally shaking when I picked up my pen. I looked at my classmates who were all scribbling away furiously! Fight or flight kicked in and as I was unable to run away I decided to fight. I took a deep breath, wiped away the sweat from my eyes, cleaned my glasses and I wrote! To be fair, what I wrote wasn't great in the allocated 15 minute slot but I wrote nonetheless.  At the end of that excercise we were asked to turn to the person next to us and either read out what we had written so they could critique or explain what we thought our characters story was. Well hells bells I wasn't going to read anything out so I turned to the lovely lady beside me and explained what I thought the character I had picked was all about! I think I did ok and we had an interesting chat about perceptions of scenes and people. Great I thought! I can do this!

Our next exercise was to write a character bio for another person from the picture. I found this immensely interesting as I had done this for my NaNoWriMo project, although I learned a lot more about this process during the class and I will definitely go back to my book and look again at the bios I have written and expand on them more. It might help me to make them more interesting and add a bit more substance to their personalities.  When we had completed this exercise, each of us had to talk about the character we had chosen and talk about them like they was a person we were introducing or talking about to a friend. When my turn came I actually thought I was going to fall off my chair in a dead faint. But, after a few gasps for air I finally was able to read out what I had written for my character and he turned out to be pretty damn interesting! The tutor was impressed I think and my character, a Mr Frankie Conway who was an Irish - American gambler and womaniser jumped right off my page and has been filed away for future use! Thank you very much Mr Conway!

And so, there you have it! I am waiting to hear if there is a place for me at the next class. If not, the class is going to be evolving into a writers support group too so hopefully I will be involved in that. While the thought of attending another class does still scare the bejesus clean out of me I was glad that I did it. And, in some weird way, I want to do it again! I want to learn how to make my writing better. I want to know what I am doing wrong and to have the skills to fix it. I want to find the courage to put more of my writing out there and cross another goal off my bucket list. Watch this space!

Leaning Into the Curves!

Well, its finally happened. My first article as a columnist for www.loveahappyending.com is out there for the big bad world to see. You will either love it, hate it or just think its a bit blah! Personally, I think its pretty ok. And by god its true what they say................writing is like going out in public with no knickers on! You do feel so exposed!  I understand of course that the article content may not be of interest to everyone in the world but I hope that I have written it in such a way that even if the subject matter does not apply to you, the writing itself will bring even the smallest of smiles to your face. You can check out the article HERE. Please go and read it and inflate my ego enormously! I'd love to hear your thoughts on it.............good or bad.

One thing that starting to write articles for the magazine is teaching me is that its not that easy! While I used to write a personal blog around special needs issues, those posts were personal to me. The challenge in writing for a wider audience is to make sure that I don't personalise each article too much and make it all about me. Because the feature is about Home Help, I need to write content that encompasses quite a wide audience from parents, to homemakers to career minded women/men to well.............just about everyone I suppose and actually hope that people do find the articles helpful!  While I want the articles to be informative I don't want them to be too serious either. I think we can take life far too seriously and that just sucks the fun out of everything!

Yesterday I sat down to put together my 2nd article for the magazine and BOOM! Writer's Block! I mean seriously! I have a huge list of topics I'd like to cover in the features and so while it was very quiet in work I thought I'd get started on the next thing on the list. I merrily sat covertly typing away hoping that the boss didn't walk in on me typing up an article instead of writing the boring stuff I'm paid to write. I got about 4 paragraphs in when suddenly my mind went completely blank! My brain shut down faster than a computer installing Windows 10! Now, for me this is something quite unexpected because my brain never shuts up! It constantly babbles on and on at me, never giving me a moments peace. And, for those that know me well, my mouth never closes either and the two are in constant conflict! I sat looking blankly at the screen and then just put my head on the desk and counted to ten!
 

Yes I know I probably looked like some mad writerly type (Here's Johnny!!!) I thankfully hadn't reached axe wielding stage! A few big deep breaths however, a bar of chocolate and a reboot of my brain showed me what was wrong. While I had an general outline of what I wanted the article to be about and had been happily bashing away at the keyboard I realised that I in fact wanted to write something else entirely! The writer's block I suppose was my brain's version of an update! You know those annoying things that happen to your laptop when you are mid writing and the damn thing restarts without any prior warning.  My brain was trying to alert me to the fact that it was at odds with what I was writing. Now this is a new thing for me. As a fledgling writer I had often read of the dreaded writer's block or plot lines taking new directions but hadn't really experienced it to such a degree. It happened a few times during my NaNoWriMo project but not as abruptly as this. Then, there had always been a gradual sort of re-plotting and days of my brain toying with the idea. Not this! Goodness me this writing lark is going to be fun!

Writing appears to be a constant learning curve. Sometimes I am a pro at leaning into the curves and following the road ahead. Other times I fall flat on my ass and need to dust myself off and start again, hoping that I don't run out of fuel before I've finished. I often wonder if I have what it takes and have to remind myself that of course I have! Ultimately I am writing for me and if the end result is that one or two other people actually like what I write then I've contributed in some small way to the world of writing. I'm not sure my name will ever be in lights or whether I'll ever be lucky enough to see anything I've written on shelves but I do know I am extremely lucky to have been given the opportunities I have. I am extremely lucky to have such a great supportive writing network and wonderful author and blogger friends who are encouraging and just amazing! The rest, as they say, is up to me. I'm looking forward to a great Summer when I will be off work from the day job and I can concentrate more on my writing and my book work. Who knows, maybe I just might get that damned NaNoWriMo project finished before I have to start the next one. Buckle up! Its gonna be a bumpy ride!

When Bloggers and Authors take over London!

On Saturday 20th March I was so lucky to be able to meet up with lots of my blogger friends and lots of my author friends. I also met some lovely new people and generally had a grand old time! The event was organised by author Holly Martin and Kim Nash from Bookouture who have begun to organise monthly meet ups. Obviously, because I live in Northern Ireland I can't attend every meet up as the expense would be too great but I am at least going to try to get to every other one if possible.

So, on Saturday morning my alarm went off at 4.45am and I could have cried! I hadn't slept too well with sheer excitement at the prospect of the meet up and a daughter who was unwell. However, I was soon hot footing it onto a rather small plane at Belfast City airport. I don't think I've ever flown in such a small passenger plane before! It had propellers for goodness sake and shook and shuddered the whole flight! And, we didn't so much land in London City airport but sort of dropped from the sky with a thump! I'm sure we didn't really but my insane fear of landing and taking off was coming into play here! Plus, I didn't have anyone sitting beside me! I usually grab the hand of a fellow passenger during these times!

©Flybe

My next hurdle was getting myself from the airport to meet the lovely Les Moriarty at Waterloo Station. Now, those who know me well know that I am completely geographically challenged and could manage to get lost in my own street! However, Les had given me great traveling instructions and before I knew it Les and I were enjoying a lovely brunch before making our way to the venue in The Waiting Room.

I was so stunned that so many people had turned up to the event which is a testament to Holly and Kim's organizational skills. The afternoon was spent talking books, talking book tours and talking blogging. I was so thrilled that I got to meet some of the lovely authors I had worked with on tours. Authors such as Tilly Tennant, Christie Barlow and Helen J Rolfe to name but a few. When meeting authors I so have to suppress the urge to go all fan girl / stalker on them. I'm whats known as a book groupie! I can't help myself! I go all weak at the knees and want to fall at their feet! If I'm honest, meet ups do terrify the life clean out of me! I'm quite a shy person at heart (stop laughing) and I do get very nervous. What if I say the wrong thing? What if I look terrible? What if..............and so it goes on and on! But, I needn't have worried because once I got taking I was hard to shut up!

With the lovely authors Talli Roland & Helen J Rolfe

I was also so lucky to meet so many amazing bloggers including some of the Brook Cottage Books tour hosts! These guys are totally amazing, so generous of their time and there's nothing they don't know about books and authors! They are the real experts of the publishing world!

Me again! With book bloggers Julie Williams & Julie Boon & the lovely author Tilly Tennant

Selfie fun with authors Giselle Green & Christina Courtenay

Shell Baker with her famous selfie stick!

Me and Les Moriarty

All in all it was a fab afternoon. What could be better than spending the day in a pub with authors and bloggers and talking books! Some liquid refreshment might of course been had! Afterwards Les and I went for a gorgeous meal in an Indian restaurant before we headed back to his lovely home where he and his wife Vivienne put this very tired blogger / writer up for the night. I was treated to a gorgeous breakfast the next morning and some fascinating and interesting conversation before Vivienne kindly walked me to the tube station with their little dog Rosa who I have fallen so madly in love with! I really wanted to sneak her away in my bag but really wasn't sure poor Vivienne would appreciate me trying to wrestle Rosa off her at the tube station! Anyway, I somehow managed to get myself back to the airport, and that accomplishment in itself filled me full of pride and a little extra confidence. The Tube terrifies me. I'm a little claustrophobic and again, terrified of getting lost. But I got there! Go me!

The adorable Rosa!

The weekend was an absolute success and I even managed to get a little bit of work.  I'm looking forward to the next London meet up on the 28th May.  I had considered not attending the meet up in May as I was worried about the expense etc and while I was standing in the kitchen talking myself out of the whole thing while making a cuppa, my lovely husband went online and booked me a flight and a hotel! Sometimes I just need a little push. I'm going to bring my laptop with me this time and try to get some writing done, ensconced in my tiny hotel room with a bottle of wine and a big bag of Doritos! What could possibly go wrong?!

P.S Myself, Carmel Harrington and Linda Green are hoping to organise a Dublin Meet up on the 9th July so do let me know if you are interested in attending and I'll make sure you get an invite.

Columnist Extraodinaire!

A few weeks ago I saw an brilliant job opportunity to work at a local magazine. The job was a work from home one too with weekly meetings at the magazines head office and not bad wages. It was my dream! It was perfect! It was everything I wanted! Unfortunately they wouldn't even consider me for the job because I didn't have enough proven experience. Apparently writing your own blogs, taking part in writing projects, co-writing a book for charity and organising blog tours and being a professional multi-tasker and Olympic sport busy person just weren't seen as useful skills for a magazine. I needed to expand my C.V if I was ever to be in with any chance to be taken seriously.

 ©Loveahapppyending

As many of you know, I am a Book Shelf Reviewer for Loveahappyending Lifestyle Magazine #LLm which is an amazing free online lifestyle magazine. This magazine is simply bursting with fantastic features with something to suit everyone.  Its becoming increasingly popular with a huge readership and I suggest you go check it out. Well, I am thrilled to share some wonderful news with you all. I am also to be one of their columnists. My fellow columnists are amazing authors and wonderfully warm and lovely people and the welcome and support in the new role has been amazing. A very special thank you must go particularly to Linn B Halton who is the managing editor of the magazine and probably someone who is even busier than I am! She is such an inspiration to me and great friend. Linn always offers me wonderful words of wisdom and is a constant support.

My column, called Home Help will focus on parenting, work, special needs and family issues. I have a wealth of knowledge around such things. Working with vulnerable families for a number of years I have quite a varied skills base and lots of experience to call upon. Plus, I am a working parent and carer too so I understand some of the difficulties faced by parents today. Let's face it guys. Its not easy! I am hoping my posts not only offer advice and guidance but also find a little bit of humour along the way too. Life is too short to constantly complain. We need to find some positives through the difficult times. Hopefully someone will find some of the advice I give useful. Or, if the column even makes one person smile then I'll have done my job. If anyone would like me to write about a particular subject please feel free to post ideas in the comments section at the bottom of this post.

The whole experience of trying to land the job at the local magazine I mentioned earlier really made me realise that I do need to get more of my writing out into the big bad world and I am grateful to Linn B Halton for giving me the opportunity. I enjoy writing and just want to share what I do. I don't think I'll ever make a fortune out of it but would like to eventually freelance as a full time publicist, book promoter, writer and possibly offer a P.A service to authors. I'm toying with a lot of ideas and my days just seem to get busier and busier. And, while completely exhausting, I am so enjoying all of these new challenges.

THE HEADER FROM THE COLUMNISTS PAGE!
 ©Loveahapppyending

So guys, any tips or guidance on getting freelance paid writing gigs would be very appreciated. I understand this is an on-going learning process but I do have a real desire to learn. If I am to eventually give up full time work and become self employed I am pretty sure that my family do not want to live on beans and toast ....... forever! Its all quite a scary prospect and for each day I have to drag myself into the office and do a job that is sending my brain into a coma, I spend most of that day dreaming about doing a job that I really love. But, at least I am taking baby steps into reaching my goals. Thankfully I have lots of wonderful friends to hold my hand through the scary times. Don't leave me!

MY BIO AS IT APPEARS IN THE MAGAZINE!

©Loveahappyending

In other news.............. I've been featured over at Celtic Connexions blog. Its always so funny to see myself as a guest on other people's blogs. It makes me go all tingly with excitement. Check out the post HERE.

I am also featured on Lozza's Book Corner! I feel positively famous! lol

Is it Me?

They say you should write about what you know but I am wondering how much of this would actually get you into trouble? When I finished my Nano project in November 2015 it was a huge feeling of relief. Up to that point I wouldn't talk about the plot at all with my husband and eventually when I told him what it was all about he looked at me, smirked and said, 'So its plain to see who each of the characters is based on!' Ooops! Was I that transparent?

That got me wondering whether I was going to get myself into a whole lot of trouble if the book was ever published. I knew I was basing the main characters on real people and some of my own experiences but I stupidly thought no one would make the connection! My darling husband and his enormous and infuriating brain figured it out in seconds. Fortunately I don't give a monkey's ass about the opinions of the people that some of the characters might closely resemble (Admit to nothing I hear you shout). I am no longer in contact with them and they'd never admit to reading any book I wrote! However, I am now left with another dilemma. I have an idea for a second book and its very clearly based on myself and my friends. Although, my friends do know about it and I threaten them now and again to base a 30 stone transvestite on one of them or a raging sex mad alcoholic! Seriously though, I am wondering just how careful are other writers around basing their characters on real people. I know that if I ever write this book I am going to have to be very careful when writing about people I know will read the book. I don't want to offend or hurt and I'm hoping they will see what I am writing as a compliment to the wonderful people that they are.

I think its quite difficult not to use traits from other people for your characters, particularly when they are things that make some sort of an impact on you whether from an emotional point of view or because you think they are the most wonderful people in the world and that needs to be shared. I know that some of the traits of my very best friends are what makes me love them so much. But, not being the most experienced of writers I'd love to hear the opinions of other writers. Do you risk an onslaught from the 'real' people in your life if you base a character, no matter how loosely on them? Are they easily offended? Do you live in fear of the neighbours slashing your car tyres or excluding you, heaven forbid, from all the neighbourhood watch meetings all because you wrote about a cul-de-sac where there was a bit of wife swapping or mad affairs going on in the garden shed at the bottom of the garden (yeah this happened!). Are you afraid Auntie Mabel will cross you off her Christmas card because you wrote about an elderly female character with a liking for smoking Cuban cigars or that Uncle Max will write you out of his will? Or worse, leave you his damn cat as a punishment when he knows you are allergic to cats all because you mentioned his fascination with ladies knickers! Are you at risk of totally alienating yourself from friends and family who live in fear you are going to write then into a book and then kill them off even if you have no intention of doing so!?

At a recent book launch for Colin Bateman's book Papercuts, which is set in my home town, he joked that often people think characters are based on them when in fact they aren't. I thought this was really interesting. Is it a case of inflated egos that cause people to assume they are the basis for a character or is it perhaps really clever writing that lets a reader see a part of themselves in a character who isn't actually based on anyone in particular? Some books probably fly pretty close to the wire and writers do have to be very careful from a legal point of view. Or is it a case of write and be damned with the consequences! I suppose all this will come down to experience / stupidity / naivety or all three!

I think that there is no doubt that it is impossible to write characters that may have some resemblance to real people and whether writers do that unconsciously or not I'm not altogether sure. I'm pretty sure that a lot of experiences written about are based on someone's real life experience. In my book some of what happens or the things said to the female lead character are things once said to me. Did I write this as a sort of therapy? Possibly. Did I write it as revenge? Absolutely not. I wrote it because it made a good story. I know that when I was writing my Nano book I googled photographs of what I thought the characters looked like and based a lot of stuff around that. Unfortunately they happen to look like people I know! Oh dear. I'll just sit here and wait for the court summons then if the book ever gets into print! Watch this space!